Monday, January 18, 2010

An old one

Politicians. Curse and swore and hurt my ears. Even the wife. F bomb this...F bomb that. Pay to Play this...Pay to Play that. Go Illinois!!

Christmas. I'm sorry....Holidays. Don't want to offend anyone. Nah...I don't care....Christmas. Drunk bowling with coworkers, dice with the aunts, dirty santa with the cousins, and Christmas Caroling with Joe. He likes to sing the Twelve Days of Christmas cause its long. We sing it real fast when we are by ourselves. And then drink hot chocolate by the tree. Don't throw me down Clark!!

Gas. I ate chilli....just kidding. So happy gas prices are playing limbo...how low can you go...how low can you go. What a relief. Now I can afford to drive to work and don't feel guilty about driving to my mom's house 3 miles away.

Juicy Fruit, Big Red, Spearmint, Double mint. Why the new colors? This isn't the Juicy Fruit my Grandpa used to pull out of his shirt pocket. I am pretty sure he would disapprove of the neon yellow....bring back the gray....its just not natural.

Chicago. We want a divorce. We are over it. You keep your corrupt politics and we will create our own. Joe Ferrero for Governor. He has the cussing requirement taken care of.....and the hairpiece? Well...maybe in a few years. Do they make red toupe's?

30. Feeling it already. Now would be a good time to know a vampire. A vegetarian vampire. Who sparkles. And likes short hair and chicken legs.

Real Estate Taxes. There goes my "Snoopy Snow Cone" Fund. Have to start all over next year.

The radio. Do people really want to hear the new Kenny Chesney song 10 times a day? Who are you people? I have a prize for you.

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