Friday, April 23, 2010

He superglued his fingers to his tongue!!!

Was I witness? No. Dammit. Did anyone get a picture? No. Shit. Shit. Apparently when you superglue your fingers together do not try to lick them apart. Hmmm....whats this about me being really stupid for not putting gas in my mower and then calling everyone cause I can't figure out why it won't start? Yeah...I don't think I would ever try to french kiss my superglued fingers. Yep...let me see....nope...smarter than that!!

Bahahahaha!!!

(This story is just about as good as the dog who had a raging case of the trots and decided to unload in his Natural Light case of beer....see www.igottalaugh.blogspot.com for full story)

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Thoughts of the day

Thoughts of the day....

One week till I will never again (till next year) be asked to shit a tax credit or hatch a big fat refund for someone with just a W-2.... wait....let me get my magic wand...poof!....tax credits for everyone!

Why are there 5 cats in heat by my shed every morning? My yard is not a cat brothel.

Honey Blush, Jonathan Apple, Weiner Dog White....these are the wines I will be drinking on April 15th at 11:00 after I blow the smoke off my wand and retire it for the year...giddyup!! Now where did I put my auditing numbchucks...

I wonder why the Hall closes on Good Friday yet is open on Christmas?

I wonder what my Bingo bullies did on Good Friday since Bingo was cancelled....probably went shopping for a new Garfield (maybe Odie?) shirt and a one-boobed bra.

New Sarah quote: "I'm hungry for some bored and I wanna eat..wait...I mean I don't wanna work". Whathuh?

Hoping I don't have moles in my yard this year. Hoping the little mole noose hanging from my porch will scare them away.

Has anyone seen the new "Meth" commercials? Man those are scary. Who knew Meth people look like the zombie people. I just thought they had sores on their face and didn't eat.

Well that all for today...until next time