Wednesday, October 5, 2011

A short thankful Wednesday. Someday I will come up with a new blog idea, but not today.

-I am thankful for my do I have some good ones. Some I have been friends with since birth, some more recent, and some who want to be like me so bad, that they change their major to mine, go to the same grad school and work at the same place as me. I won't name names, that wouldn't be nice, but sometimes she tries to wear the same outfits too.

-I am thankful for my job. I have some pretty kick ass bosses and co-workers. We calculate like its no one's business. Sometimes we sit in a circle and add big numbers and talk accountants speak. It makes us feel important.

-I am thankful for thankful blog posts. Otherwise, I would have no idea what to write about. I have no new ideas, I am an accountant for pete's sake.

-I am thankful for my family. They make me feel better no matter the situation. We are Polish but do nothing backwards. We are German but don't drink our beer in mugs. And a little bit Indian but don't ride our horses bareback to the TP parties. We like wine and guns. Sometimes together.

That's all...back to my broken heart

Monday, October 3, 2011


Oh it's Monday. Another sharp pencil, another green ledger pad. I got a new stapler!! Just in case anyone cares, it is red. So much excitement. My co-workers keep coming in my room to see it. Wait a second.....they better not say they are moving me to the basement....

Today, I am thankful for these pictures (sorry, some are small):

Sarah loves this tree. Don't they look good together? GGrrrr, bear hug.

She had to walk away, things were getting obscene.

Finally, we're alone, I didn't think she was ever going to leave.

Sarah, put your leg down!! that a different tree? You tree whore.

Your so hot....I love you, you sexy beast

She gets around.

This picture is really hard for me to look at. I can't believe my Mom let me out of the house looking like this, and my teacher looked at me all day and didn't call child protective services. I look like a hobo. A hobo in suspenders.

Oh, slumber parties. Probably taken at 3 in the morning. It's hard to believe we used to act like this....without alcohol anyway. We were excited cause we found our way back home after the house parties. Yes, sometimes that was hard to do. And, my going out outfit was a sweatshirt? I really knew how to pimp it out back then.

Hmmm...a lot going on in this picture. Let me highlight your hair. Ok. Hey, do you have any perfume I can smell while I shut my eyes and enjoy this experience. Why, yes I do!!

Here, put these on and I will sit on your lap and act like everything is normal.

We liked to pass them around. Sarah, on the other hand, is not having any of it!

They were really excited we found our way home again.

Quick!! Take a picture!! My ferbie wants to sit on your shoulder. Also, lets throw a condom in there, for good measure. I am not going to say what is in the ferbie's mouth, my Mother reads this.

Have a great week everyone!!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Not Very Thankful Thursday

I have a bad cold. I feel like "H" "E" Double Hockey Sticks. And my nose is sore cause I don't buy Kleenax, I just use TP. I don't feel like being thankful this Thursday. So here are a few things I am not feeling very thankful for:

-I am not thankful for the month of August. It's hot. My hair looks like a Fraggle every day. I sweat when walking to my garage. Also, there is nothing to do. Can't fish, can't ice skate. Meh.

-I am not thankful for Facebook. It is evil. Yet, I cannot stay away. And I kick myself for that. Because I really don't think that I should be all up in everyone's business. Facebook used to be fun, there were a few people on it, I could say whatever I want. Now my parents, aunts, uncles, all 100 of my cousins, people I met for two seconds, and all their dogs are on it. Whatever I post, the whole world knows, in about 3 minutes.

-I am not thankful for growing up. I want to be carefree again. I am forced to make adult decisions and I don't feel like an adult. I feel like I am 22. That is not grown up. So why should I be forced to make these decisions? Plus, everyone is having kids and I am over it. Unless, I have a kid, then, it's cool.

-I am not thankful for boyfriends that live 15 hours away. That is all I am going to say, I think we can all agree on that one.

-I am not thankful for all 500 hundred cats that like to poop in my yard. I do not own any cats. Why do you poop in my yard, when the neighbor's yard is so close? Stop letting go of all bodily functions in my yard. Please. I know some of you only have 3 legs and have the mange and are starving, but pick another yard every once in a while. I am sick of mowing over your "gifts".

-I am not thankful that summer is over and I will not have fresh garden tomatoes anymore. Where do they get the ones they offer in the grocery store? Whatever country that is, they suck at growing tomatoes. That pile of red mush does not satisfy my requirements for a "tomato".

That is all....take that world!!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Thankful Thursday Again! So Soon!

Wow, this past week has flown by. I woke up this morning thinking it couldn't possibly be Thankful Thursday again. Probably because I am so busy keeping it real. Here are some things that I am thankful for on this wonderful Thursday in September.

I am thankful that it is September. That means that October is next. I really like October. The changing leaves, the cool weather, and my birthday. And Mardi Gras, and wineries, and pretty leaves. The nicer weather will probably mean more people cruising past my house to the backroads with means more peel outs by my house. You know, those really cool guys that stop at a stop sign and peel out at all hours of the night in their awesome trucks. Makes want to run outside and get their digits in my skivvies. I wish I could find a guy like that.

I am thankful that my angel Joseph Michael would never peel out, wake people up, or generally do anything to bad. What a saint.

I am thankful I get to see The Travis's play tomorrow. Yep that's right, at the Hall, The Travis's, all night long!! Finally! I am loving this new KC Hall Management. Travis Howell, Travis Shute, and specials on Jack and Coke. I am going to request "I want it that way" by the Backstreet Boys.

I am thankful for all this chocolate cake that keeps appearing at work. Chocolate cake for breakfast, chocolate cake for lunch, and a little slice for a snack. And maybe one more little slice for good measure. I can't stay away. Sugar is attracted to me, we just have to be together.

Having Chinese for lunch. I think that I am thankful for the Chinese and their wonderful take on Chinese fast food. Cause you know all those skinny workers in there aren't eating what they are serving us. I am also thankful that the Chinese never put an "S" at the end. You want green bean? Why yes I do. You want mushroom? Yes, thank you.

Man, my diet is sounding really good lately. So therefore, I am thankful that I have been running again. I don't go very far, or very fast, but man, it makes me feel good. Love that runners high afterwards. Although at the time I feel like I am going to croak and that someone will have to call an ambulance and come get me off the track and drive one block to my house and deposit me on my couch and get a glass of chocolate milk from the fridge. For "recovery".

Have a wonderful Thursday everyone!! And come to the Hall tomorrow, for The Travis's!!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

The Wild West

A few months ago, I helped The Redhead move all of his belongings to Colorado. He drove the U-haul full of chew, beer and stinky stuff.

I drove his brand new truck full of cute puppy dogs and lilacs and roses.

We started in Pinckneyville and drove to South Dakota, where he was living at the time.

Then we drove long ways across South Dakota to do some sight seeing. The home of Laura Ingalls Wilder!! I was so excited. Didn't see Halfpint, Pa would be so disappointed. Yes, I was taking pictures while I was driving. It's cool Mom.

Wanted to go see the Corn Palace but The Redhead said: "No Time, MUSH!!" I think he was grouchy cause he didn't have a radio. He had no time for such silliness.

We stopped to see The Faces on the other end of South Dakota. It was quite breathtaking.

I didn't think I would enjoy it very much, but it ended up being a favorite of the trip. Not sure why I thought it was a good idea to bring such a big purse though.

Had to stop a lot to let the dogs stretch their cute puppy legs. This was the most stressful part of the trip. Those dogs are like my children and they were stressed so I was stressed. And Gracie was on such good behavior, she only got away from us 3 times.

Egads! This was before puppy dog rattlesnake shots, we had to high tail it out of their. One bite could kill a pup.

Had a wonderful time in the Black Hills. Even got to follow someone for an hour going only 15mph. Winning!

After going through South Dakota we stopped in Wyoming to visit The Redhead's Sister, Redette and Fam. She took us out to eat and we gave their kids big gobstoppers. Fair deal I think.

Josie wanted to know if the yellow tasted like cheese.

The next day we made our way down through Colorado. Beautiful drive. Actually I think I liked Wyoming best. It's Beautiful there with rolling hills and tumbleweeds. And I even saw a REAL cowboy. Not a Southern Illinois fake but a real one, driving cattle and such. Be still my heart.

Finally reached our destination! What a long 4 days!

First things first, got the pups situated and they fell asleep after a few minutes. They were exhausted. And I think Marley was upset with us, she really wanted to see the corn palace.

Then, of course, before unpacking, eating, and showering, we had to get the garden in. Update: Unfortunately, The Redhead chose Wal Mart to go plant shopping. The sweet corn was actually popcorn, the watermelons were actually pumpkins, and the snozeberries did not taste like snozeberries.

After a few days of settling in, we decided to fly on over to Egypt. I thought it appropriate to wear a Wyoming shirt, to represent the cowboys. Actually this is the Sand Dunes, an hour from where Joe is. Pretty cool mountain of sand.

The Redhead stole my camera while I was visiting nature. Yes, that is a Natural Light. We had to pour one out for our homies.

Overall it was a good trip, saw lots of things, and I only had 2 nervous breakdowns over the pups and bathroom breaks ( The Redhead loathes pit stops).

I just got back from a visit to Colorado and saw these! Elk!! And I even spotted them before The Redhead!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Thankful Thursday

Just got on here and realized it has been a year and half since I posted a blog! I have been feeling like I have lost my writing mojo....nothing to write about, nothing funny to say. But.....I'm BAAACCCKKK!!

Let's start this off with a Thankful Thursday post. Here are some things I am thankful for:

1. My health. Even though I have Crohn's I feel like I am relatively healthy. Have been reading lots of blogs about people with Crohn's and it could be so much worse! I am actually very lucky, and am thankful for that. Also, have been reading lots of blogs of people with Crohn's who run marathons!! I didn't know this was possible. Maybe I should start making Crohn's my bitch and run at least a 5K or something.....Or, maybe I should walk it.....Maybe eating chips and watching the Kardashians would be enough to make Crohn's my bitch?

2. I don't really watch the Kardashians and am thankful I do not have a bubble butt and an amazon for a sister.

3. I am thankful for a very productive yard sale during the Threshermans. In particular for the carload of Mexicans that came, bought several large trash bags full of clothes and then asked if they could dig up some of my surprise lilies and pay me for them. Here's a shovel!! Dig away!! Also, lets turn on the AC in the restaurant, this is not Mexico land, we do not like to sweat waiting for our burritos, the box fan is not cuttin it.

4. Every few years or so, the planets line up and the gates to heaven open and the angels sing Hallelujah. Yes, yes, this is the year my birthday is on Mardi Gras. I guess sometimes God thinks I deserve a parade, what can I say? I am Joe Ferrero's girlfriend you know!

5. One last thankful and speaking of the Man, the Myth, the Legend, I will be very thankful when we are living in the same town. This shit is for the birds. Although I am enjoying visiting Colorado. If I ever live there, I am wearing cowboy boots everyday. I think this will help me attract those cowboy butts that drive me nuts. Just for looking! Let's not start a small town rumor here.

Happy Thursday everyone!!

Friday, April 23, 2010

He superglued his fingers to his tongue!!!

Was I witness? No. Dammit. Did anyone get a picture? No. Shit. Shit. Apparently when you superglue your fingers together do not try to lick them apart. Hmmm....whats this about me being really stupid for not putting gas in my mower and then calling everyone cause I can't figure out why it won't start? Yeah...I don't think I would ever try to french kiss my superglued fingers. Yep...let me see....nope...smarter than that!!


(This story is just about as good as the dog who had a raging case of the trots and decided to unload in his Natural Light case of beer....see for full story)