Thankful Thursday Again! So Soon!

Wow, this past week has flown by. I woke up this morning thinking it couldn't possibly be Thankful Thursday again. Probably because I am so busy keeping it real. Here are some things that I am thankful for on this wonderful Thursday in September.

I am thankful that it is September. That means that October is next. I really like October. The changing leaves, the cool weather, and my birthday. And Mardi Gras, and wineries, and pretty leaves. The nicer weather will probably mean more people cruising past my house to the backroads with means more peel outs by my house. You know, those really cool guys that stop at a stop sign and peel out at all hours of the night in their awesome trucks. Makes want to run outside and get their digits in my skivvies. I wish I could find a guy like that.

I am thankful that my angel Joseph Michael would never peel out, wake people up, or generally do anything to bad. What a saint.

I am thankful I get to see The Travis's play tomorrow. Yep that's right, at the Hall, The Travis's, all night long!! Finally! I am loving this new KC Hall Management. Travis Howell, Travis Shute, and specials on Jack and Coke. I am going to request "I want it that way" by the Backstreet Boys.

I am thankful for all this chocolate cake that keeps appearing at work. Chocolate cake for breakfast, chocolate cake for lunch, and a little slice for a snack. And maybe one more little slice for good measure. I can't stay away. Sugar is attracted to me, we just have to be together.

Having Chinese for lunch. I think that I am thankful for the Chinese and their wonderful take on Chinese fast food. Cause you know all those skinny workers in there aren't eating what they are serving us. I am also thankful that the Chinese never put an "S" at the end. You want green bean? Why yes I do. You want mushroom? Yes, thank you.

Man, my diet is sounding really good lately. So therefore, I am thankful that I have been running again. I don't go very far, or very fast, but man, it makes me feel good. Love that runners high afterwards. Although at the time I feel like I am going to croak and that someone will have to call an ambulance and come get me off the track and drive one block to my house and deposit me on my couch and get a glass of chocolate milk from the fridge. For "recovery".


Have a wonderful Thursday everyone!! And come to the Hall tomorrow, for The Travis's!!

Thankful Thursday

Just got on here and realized it has been a year and half since I posted a blog! I have been feeling like I have lost my writing mojo....nothing to write about, nothing funny to say. But.....I'm BAAACCCKKK!!

Let's start this off with a Thankful Thursday post. Here are some things I am thankful for:

1. My health. Even though I have Crohn's I feel like I am relatively healthy. Have been reading lots of blogs about people with Crohn's and it could be so much worse! I am actually very lucky, and am thankful for that. Also, have been reading lots of blogs of people with Crohn's who run marathons!! I didn't know this was possible. Maybe I should start making Crohn's my bitch and run at least a 5K or something.....Or, maybe I should walk it.....Maybe eating chips and watching the Kardashians would be enough to make Crohn's my bitch?

2. I don't really watch the Kardashians and am thankful I do not have a bubble butt and an amazon for a sister.

3. I am thankful for a very productive yard sale during the Threshermans. In particular for the carload of Mexicans that came, bought several large trash bags full of clothes and then asked if they could dig up some of my surprise lilies and pay me for them. Here's a shovel!! Dig away!! Also, lets turn on the AC in the restaurant, this is not Mexico land, we do not like to sweat waiting for our burritos, the box fan is not cuttin it.

4. Every few years or so, the planets line up and the gates to heaven open and the angels sing Hallelujah. Yes, yes, this is the year my birthday is on Mardi Gras. I guess sometimes God thinks I deserve a parade, what can I say? I am Joe Ferrero's girlfriend you know!

5. One last thankful and speaking of the Man, the Myth, the Legend, I will be very thankful when we are living in the same town. This shit is for the birds. Although I am enjoying visiting Colorado. If I ever live there, I am wearing cowboy boots everyday. I think this will help me attract those cowboy butts that drive me nuts. Just for looking! Let's not start a small town rumor here.

Happy Thursday everyone!!

He superglued his fingers to his tongue!!!

Was I witness? No. Dammit. Did anyone get a picture? No. Shit. Shit. Apparently when you superglue your fingers together do not try to lick them apart. Hmmm....whats this about me being really stupid for not putting gas in my mower and then calling everyone cause I can't figure out why it won't start? Yeah...I don't think I would ever try to french kiss my superglued fingers. Yep...let me see....nope...smarter than that!!

Bahahahaha!!!

(This story is just about as good as the dog who had a raging case of the trots and decided to unload in his Natural Light case of beer....see www.igottalaugh.blogspot.com for full story)

Things I am thankful for

Ten things I am thankful for.......serious list

1. My family. I am very lucky to say I had an awesome childhood. I never wanted for anything except for a Snoopy Snowcone....have been waiting 29 years....and have you met my brother? Totally kick ass....

2. My house. Cause its cute. And because I get to mow grass....I love mowing grass.

3. Bo Didley. I have wanted a horse since I was 5 when I started my "horse fund"

4. Friends. I have some of the best in the world

5. Having a job. Those are becoming hard to come by. And I have super duper bosses

6. Being healthy.....I am so much better than I was three or four years ago....I have my life back....and I can eat hot wings again!!!!

7. Heat....it hits home when your furnace breaks

8. Having a college education...glad I got it out of the way

9.My religious upbringing.

10. Living in a free country. Go USA!!!


Not so serious list:

1. I am thankful for the Hall's new jukebox. I know...who doesn't love Lynyrd Skynyrd and Creedence Clearwater......its ok...they are still in there....and now we can skip songs if someone decides to play the whole meatloaf album...twice

2. My town's trash pickup persons.....I can't tell you why.....anyone else have Panther Hauling and is picking up what I am putting down?

3. Thank God for the leaf pickup in my town. I don't know what I would do without it. I don't even have any trees but I am so happy to pay $3 every month to help someone who does. And have you seen how speedy they are?

4. The Redhead's stuffed green peppers. The Redhead's black eyed peas. The Redhead's chicken and dumplings. Lets just say my boyfriend can cook anyone under a table....and then some.

5. My garage....cause scrapping windows just plain sucks.

6. Finger nail clippers. I would have died of a hang nail by now if not for that invention.

7. Snail mail. You just cant beat it. Getting a letter in the mail is ten times better than an email...especially if your not expecting it.

8. Sharp pencils, new calculators, purple highlighters, and crisp legal pads. Cause I'm a nerd and I know it....oh and fresh general ledgers.

9. Bingo dabbers. So many colors...and only $1

10. Chumbawamba.....for giving me a theme song my freshman year of college

An old one

Politicians. Curse and swore and hurt my ears. Even the wife. F bomb this...F bomb that. Pay to Play this...Pay to Play that. Go Illinois!!

Christmas. I'm sorry....Holidays. Don't want to offend anyone. Nah...I don't care....Christmas. Drunk bowling with coworkers, dice with the aunts, dirty santa with the cousins, and Christmas Caroling with Joe. He likes to sing the Twelve Days of Christmas cause its long. We sing it real fast when we are by ourselves. And then drink hot chocolate by the tree. Don't throw me down Clark!!

Gas. I ate chilli....just kidding. So happy gas prices are playing limbo...how low can you go...how low can you go. What a relief. Now I can afford to drive to work and don't feel guilty about driving to my mom's house 3 miles away.

Juicy Fruit, Big Red, Spearmint, Double mint. Why the new colors? This isn't the Juicy Fruit my Grandpa used to pull out of his shirt pocket. I am pretty sure he would disapprove of the neon yellow....bring back the gray....its just not natural.

Chicago. We want a divorce. We are over it. You keep your corrupt politics and we will create our own. Joe Ferrero for Governor. He has the cussing requirement taken care of.....and the hairpiece? Well...maybe in a few years. Do they make red toupe's?

30. Feeling it already. Now would be a good time to know a vampire. A vegetarian vampire. Who sparkles. And likes short hair and chicken legs.

Real Estate Taxes. There goes my "Snoopy Snow Cone" Fund. Have to start all over next year.

The radio. Do people really want to hear the new Kenny Chesney song 10 times a day? Who are you people? I have a prize for you.

New Years Resolutions

New Years Resolution 1

Drink lots of water and eat lots of ham. Got a ham for Christmas. Also got a water filtration system. Ham sandwiches for everyone. What? How will we cut it you say? Well with my new Remington Aus8 pocketknife of course. Oh the joys of dating The Redhead. The theme to this year's gifts was: Society is going to fall...we best be prepared. When it does...come to my house. We will filter the water and kill the moles in my yard with my knife and make a mole pot pie.

New Years Resolution 2

Run the 5K on St. Patricks Day. I usually walk it. This year I am going to attempt to run it. I suck at running....I don't think God gave me all the parts to run. He gave me the parts to step over things....like hurdles, sand pits, and Sarah.

New Years Resolution 3

Take more pictures. Since when did I become lame-o no picture girl. I always had the pictures. The good pictures. The blackmail worthy ones...the ones you put on the door of the hall at your friends wedding...bahahaha.

New Years Resolution 4

New Years Resolution 1 leads me to New Years Resolution 4. Kill my mole. No..let me rephrase that. Execute my mole. My little mole friend has been frolicking around my yard since I moved in. I am beginning to built a noose that will hang from my porch. When his little neck is in there he will be on display for one week. Then I will tie him from the back of my car and drive him around town....we will make a few laps...Moto Mart Handee Mart Moto Mart Handee Mart. Then I will let the neighbor cats have their way with him.

New Years Resolution 5

Do more at work...I need to do more of the following: Sharpen pencils, staple things together, shuffle important papers, drink coffee, Unstaple and restaple the staples that are crooked or have the ends coming through the wrong side of the paper, add more big numbers and quit letting Sarah have them all, tune up my calculator...new ink...new 6 button, get a back up space heater in case my current one quits...I wouldn't last a day in this freezer box without it, and my most favorite....practice writing my name. Can't wait for tax season....kinda bored.

Well...thats it for now...remember....ham, water, mole pot pie....you know where to go

Suprise!!

Went to let the dogs out after work today. Walked in. Whats that smell? Surprise! Puppy dogs had explosive hind ends all day while being kenneled. Yea for me. Both of them are covered in brown. Tried to stay away from their back ends because I was scared of the explosions. Where in the heck is The Redhead? Attempted to give them a bath. Did not go so well as their back ends had multiple explosions and we had to make emergency runs out into the snow. Good thing it was snow because I could tell where all the explosions happened.

Called The Redhead. Promised he would be home in 20 minutes to deal with the kennel. Don't think he understood when I said "explosive". I meant EXPLOSIVE! As in your gonna have to wipe down the walls and the couch probably needs a new home in the dumpster. Finally gave bath #1. The poor pups were so sad. They thought they were in trouble for "messing" their kennel. They wanted to cuddle at a time when cuddling would mean me wearing a biohazard suit. I attempted to corral the puppies in the bathroom until The Redhead got home to deal with the situation at ground zero kennel. In the meantime I sprayed down a hankerchef with Febreeze and tied it around my nose. I stayed locked in the bathroom except for emergency runs outside with wet puppy dogs who at this point were so cold their legs were shaking.

Called the Redhead again. Says he is 20 minutes away. Once again emphasized the explosion at ground zero kennel. Don't think I got through. Gave the puppies bath #2 cause...what else are you going to do locked in a bathroom with a Febreeze rag on your face. 20 minutes later called The Redhead again. I'm starting to become irritable. He says he will be there in 10 minutes. Well, at least he is getting closer. The explosions are starting to decrease. Puppy dogs are very sad and very tired. They had a bad day. A really bad day. Don't know what time the kennel turned into a mine field. By the looks of it I am thinking it started about 5 minutes after they got in there. Poor things.

Finally, The Redhead pulls in. He witnesses a few explosions in the snow. "Whoa" he says. (except with a few more cuss words) Walks inside to ground zero kennel. Holy crap this is bad!! (except a lot more cuss words) I tried to tell him. I offer him my Febreeze rag. Doesn't want it. Don't puke I say. He almost puked twice.

So glad I waited in the bathroom and didn't attempt to resurrect a new kennel at ground zero.